Fashion has been hijacked by a hypersexualized, awakened culture. The extent struck me last summer when she saw two young women near our house.
The first is walking the dog with my boyfriend. She was only wearing a G-string bikini, and the second was standing at a bus stop. She was a very young, pretty, fresh-faced girl in a red and black bikini and various garters her belt, stockings and high heels. And this was on the same day in a suburban neighborhood!
In autumn, the skin was a little less. Shopping At her mall, a young woman wears her shirt laced up, exposing six inches of her skin from her neck to her navel, leaving half of her breasts visible to passers-by. I often saw This issue will not be resolved anytime soon.
Three of our daughters have grown into young women (the others are right behind us). There are no costumes like the above, but there were various “expressions” that were expressed too much. My husband and I decided to sit down with my three older girlfriends to discuss the house rules and the reasons behind them.
Before doing this, I scoured the internet, hoping to find conversation ideas. It was less than I expected, so I sat down and wrote some ideas for the messages I wanted to convey to the girls. (And soon we’ll take these basic ideas and talk to young people about them, too.)
We told the girls that we wanted to meet them. I printed out my thoughts (below) and started with these ideas. Of course, I let the girl do it because we were going to have a conversation, but it was helpful to have some thoughts on the paper in front of us for those moments when the conversation strayed off course. One thing was to choose a time when they were relatively happy and fairly open to talk.
Here is the message we gave them:
We are very happy that you tell us about things that are important to you.It is okay to disagree on some things. We can still love each other like crazy.
This is why we believe it is important to dress in a way that respects our bodies. (Frame this as a question to allow more dialogue and insight into what they are thinking. .) Here are our thoughts:
- It’s good to be comfortable in your own body, even if you’re wearing a bathing suit. This is no shame! You are very beautiful young women. You have a great figure and it’s okay to dress in a way that makes your figure stand out. I’m not suggesting that everyone should only wear ugly, baggy clothes. We want you to look great!
- I’m not even talking about the fact that men between the ages of 10 and 80 actually have a physical reaction to revealing clothing. That’s not the focus of this conversation. (You can skip this part or just say it without thinking too much. Teenage girls hate the argument that they have to dress in a way that doesn’t provoke men. (Honestly, that’s not the main reason to dress with dignity.)
- The fact is that each of you is of great value. In fact, you are an irreplaceable treasure! All of your personalities are so unique. You are smart, talented, and determined to achieve great things in this world. Your dress and actions reflect this reality.
- Certain parts of our body are private because they are associated with sexual love (the beautiful gift that humans have), but it is a very private act and only in the context of marriage. There are things that are both beautiful and true.
- We’re bombarded with messages through shows, advertisements, and the media that it’s okay to show our bodies, so it’s hard to remember this. Or what do you think of women who don’t wear swimsuit bottoms to the beach?
- Even if a person is not naked in a bikini, tight short top, etc., the clothing draws attention to those sexual areas. will be related to this. Also, keep in mind that clothes look different depending on your body type. Two-piece swimwear can be more modest than some one-pieces. It depends on the cut and the person’s body type. So it’s not a rule that skirts have to be inches below the knee. We are all individuals and this should be assessed individually.
- We must rebel against this culture that promotes sex as a recreational activity and treats people as dehumanizing and exploitable. Girls are leaders, not followers! (If there are any budding feminists, it would be nice to talk more about this.)
- you are of great value. You are an amazing, priceless treasure.
So in our home:
- We wear clothes that look good, flatter and respect our bodies.
- This means no cleavage, no exposed midriff (especially for church or more formal occasions), or everything tight (leggings are fine, you just need a suitable shirt ).
- Exercise clothes are fine. If you’re alone in your room, you can wear different clothes than you would if you were going to the gym.
we love you so much You may not understand or agree with us, but we are telling you these things to help you grow into a mature, happy and confident young woman. We do this with your ultimate benefit in mind. What do you think, guys?
(After that, we will discuss it, hopefully amicably.)
Of course, it looks very nice on paper. In real life, conversations rarely go as planned, so my husband and I approached the issue expecting some backlash. Yes there were some, but the conversation went pretty well. And, very importantly, we try to express how we feel to our daughters, try to do it lovingly, and give them reasons why we should respect our bodies in the way we dress. That’s what I told you.
Now that the conversation is over, we aim to keep giving them lots of love and keep lines of communication open. They’re young, influenced by our culture, and hard to understand. So we need to remind them again. and again. We also have to keep our promises about results.
In her book Thriving and Surviving Raising Thirteen,” Anne Perrottet describes when a daughter came out of her room in a dress that was too short and told her mother that her standards were too high. Perrottet asked her if she would set her standards high or low. The girl surrendered. She wanted the bar high.
Perrottet says: They know they need them, they want direction — they need an anchor to pull them back if or when they need it.
i have to be honest. Not all daughters reacted like Perrotet did. But it doesn’t matter if they notice this. In the not-too-distant future they will mature and if we are kind and firm they will understand and appreciate us.
One final word: In many ways, women are more powerful than men. What women do, men obey (think Adam and Eve). has been made by
Our power can be destructive or a force for good. It may seem like a small thing, but how a woman dresses affects other people. This is not just a matter of parental discipline. It has great cultural impact. Teens want to rebel against oppression and protest. Let’s encourage it in this area.
This article was originally published on MercatorNet.