In 2023, I want Indian movies and TV shows to start acknowledging that staying in bed as long as you want is not sexual liberation for women.
There’s a reason I came to this very specific wish — I was at a New Year’s Eve party where the restaurant played the song of Tumiho Bandu. CocktailThis led to a discussion about Veronica, the party girl-turned-sad girl Deepika Padukone played in the film. I tried to think of a freed girl, but it didn’t come up.
It’s been over 10 years since then Cocktail, the liberated girl on screen still dresses sexy, smokes, curses and has a lot of sex. It’s all very well done, but it’s also imperfect and narrow. Our television and movie screens still equate sexual agency with sexual availability.
This is not to say that there is anything wrong with being sexually available.In a patriarchal society, choosing who to sleep with is one of the greatest defiances a woman can make But freedom does not always equal liberation. True release is being completely clear about the agency and control you exercise in bed, how you deal with it the next morning, and why you went to bed in the first place. None of these have been fully discussed.
The idea that women should be given sexual freedom and that their sexuality should be separated from shame, after a long struggle, was met with little acceptance. It’s not strong.
See the on-screen metaphor: Did your boyfriend dump you? please have sex Rebelling against family? please have sex Transforming from a shy small town girl to a cool big city girl? You got it — have sex. The problem here is that getting into bed is presented as an end in itself. Was the sex enjoyable for the woman? Was she able to articulate what she liked and what she didn’t like? Was it respected? The next morning, whether they texted each other again and how the future dynamics of the relationship would play out. Who decided who would be? These questions aren’t often asked on screen.
If the #MeToo movement has taught us anything, it is that consent remains a very difficult concept to grasp. In 2019, an advertising campaign for her brand of condoms, Durex, claimed that nearly 70% of Indian women didn’t have an orgasm every time during sex. Two facts are interrelated.
Female sexual liberation has been hijacked, at least in part, by patriarchy. As such, movies and TV shows agree that “casual sex” is wonderfully cool, and in fact, women who don’t think so are disrespectful. are you there?
I have yet to see a couple on screen having an honest, unstimulating conversation about female pleasure. Vere di Wedding When story of desire – It was about women pleasing themselves, which quickly led to shame.
I want to see a movie that takes a long, hard look at why women have sex. Is it just because it’s fun and makes you feel good? Or do other factors influence the decision? Peer pressure, the feeling of “I made him come this far, how can I say no?” hopeless hope?
Freedom of choice is great, but informed choice is better. The mass media has a responsibility to provoke important conversations, to pull, dust, display and discuss what is brushed under the carpet. It’s done when she knows exactly how to get it or how to get it, and doesn’t settle for anything less. It doesn’t fit into any of the “badass” brackets.
This woman on screen will be Bollywood’s New Year’s gift to us.
yashee.s@indianexpress.com
