July 30, 2021

An Open Letter To My Dog Who Won’t Stop Licking Himself

Dear Remy, Let me begin by stating that I like you, and its crucial you know this does not change that. That being stated, this has gone on for adequate time and its time I fixed it. You got ta stop licking your cock and balls all the time, friend.
I think we can agree that for the a lot of part the in 2015 of me working from house has actually gone quite effectively, and Im grateful! Spending throughout the day everyday together for over a year is a lot, and its not like you can just open and take yourself for a walk to get some area.
Remy, my sweet angel, light of my life, there is no possibility you need to lick your ween that intensely, for that long. I understand personal health, nevertheless this is beyond. Do you understand the number of times day-to-day I misplace what Im making up or require to reread whole e-mails because all I can focus on is the noise of you going to town on yourself? Did you understand that the CIA and the Soviets made their servants listen to the precise very same noises over and over and over as a form of torture?
Youre waging psychological warfare on me, Remy. Naturally every day and yet the sound of you licking your penis and balls is something I will never ever get made use of to. Like a dreadful grandpa clock.
Shlorp shlorp shlorp
How does it sound both that damp and that loud? Have you discovered out exactly where to lie to finest use the acoustics of the apartment or condo? Whichs another thing, I understand we do not have a load of area, however there is absolutely no reason for you to do this straight under my desk.
Get a room, for gods sake.
Youre tidy, Remy. If I let you lick your penis for as long as you wished to lick your penis, you would not have a penis left. You would polish it straight off.
Do you want that? Do you desire to lick your penis into nonexistence? I doubt it, believing about how fond you certainly are.
Please, Remy, for both of our sakes, primarily the sake of my assurance however for BOTH of our sakes, prior to you lick yourself, at first ask:

Fine if you want to lick just your balls for a while however. I will make it possible for that. Just since theyre not going to be around for a lot longer, which is a talk for another day.

Did I simply lick myself 5 minutes ago?
Do I genuinely need to lick myself?
Could I invest this time doing something else like perhaps tidying up my toys?
Exists a feline or a bird outside that I could take a look at instead?

You got ta stop licking your dick and balls all the time, buddy.
Remy, my sweet angel, light of my life, there is no possibility you need to lick your ween that strongly, for that long. Predictably every day and yet the noise of you licking your penis and balls is something I will never ever get made use of to. If I let you lick your penis for as long as you wished to lick your penis, you would not have a penis left. Do you desire to lick your penis into nonexistence?