July 30, 2021

Sharks Are Apparently Walking On Land Now, Excuse Me But No Thanks

I would not be shocked if you d in fact stab us in the back, considering you probably likewise have some kind of fucked up shark hands now.
Sharks are leaving the fucking ocean and taking walks on beaches, and thats what we have to deal with now?? No. Sharks had their possibility to venture onto land a few hundred million years earlier, they made their decision and I am putting my foot down. Nobody has the time or energy to deal with “oh by the way, sharks want to stroll among us” on top of everything. To which I state, primary and first, the truth that youre stabilizing “strolling sharks” at all is horrible, you make me sick.

Its that sharks are cool as shit if theres one thing that everyone can agree on. Theyre quickly as hell, theyve got hundreds of bitchin razor sharp teeth (other than you, whale shark, but you still guideline), even their skin is comprised of essentially tiny teeth, and much like your trustworthy friend from grade school, they havent truly altered over the numerous millions of years theyve been around.
Or so we believed!
Obviously over the last few million years, a minimum of nine shark species off the coast of Australia and New Guinea have discovered to stroll behind our backs. These conniving bastards, called epaulette sharks, now use their fins to crawl across reef.
So, first off, definitely the fuck not.
We trusted you! You were our rock in a swirling sea of evolutionary modifications! How might you do this to us, “epaulette sharks”, if thats even your real name. We enjoyed you just the way you were, and then you go and betray our trust like this. I wouldnt be shocked if you d in fact stab us in the back, considering you most likely likewise have some type of fucked up shark hands now.
When does it end, sharks ??
Well, it doesnt end there, since guess the fuck what. Theyre not just turning everyone a webbed middle finger and scrabbling over reefs, theyre actually strolling on land.
OKAY, NO. NOPE.
Take a look at this asshole
Weve been weathering a goddamn worldwide pandemic for over a year, from which were all gon na have to work through strange cagey sensations around toilet paper for like, a while, and now this shit? Sharks are leaving the fucking ocean and taking walks on beaches, and thats what we have to deal with now?? No. Sharks had their chance to venture onto land a few hundred million years ago, they made their choice and I am putting my foot down.
There is currently way too much shit going on. No one has the time or energy to deal with “oh by the method, sharks want to walk amongst us” on top of whatever. To which I state, primary and very first, the reality that youre stabilizing “walking sharks” at all is revolting, you make me sick.
Fat chance, pal.
And what kind of an example is this setting for sharks that are already big? If you dont think the bull sharks or fantastic whites are going to lace up and right away follow match as quickly as they hear about what these 2-foot-long punks are up to then you need to wake up and smell the sea salt.
I dont like it, I do not trust it, and neither ought to you.