January 16, 2021

Ever Heard of the Kentucky Meat Shower? No? Well, Good News, it’s a Nightmare

I do not want to destroy your day, I truly do not. Sadly thats not up to me, I have no choice, it should be done. You see, I, like so lots of bad souls, did not hearken amongst the internets many warnings, Beware All Ye Who Scroll Out of Boredom and Click on Related Content, for Unknown Terrors Await Ye. Down the rabbit hole I went, and now Ive reached the bottom, and the only thing I can do with this newfound understanding is share it with you, dear reader, so that you too might lie awake at night, whispering, “What the fuck,” to yourself.
Please, begin this journey and suffer with me.

You and I and everybody else who has in fact been or will end up being haunted by this information have a great deal of concerns. So, dealing with the most essential concern first, yes, people did take in the sky meat.
Due to the fact that, I show, when pieces of red secret meat fall out of the sky what are you gon na do, not taste it?
2 males who were never determined showed up the next day to test it and said it was either lamb or deer, nevertheless a regional hunter said he was positive it was bear. I do not understand who was right, and truthfully that does not matter. What matters is that they willingly consumed the sky meat and deserve our regard.
The 2nd question is, what the fuck?
There has to be a description for this, ideal ?? Well, 3 months later on a man named Leopold Brandeis examined among the samples and stated it wasnt actually meat at all, however rather a sort of flesh-colored cyanobacteria called nostoc that “inflates into a clear jelly whenever it rains.” Besides, if youll remember, it was not raining when the meat fell from the sky.
Get the hell out of here, Brandeis, you useless geek.
Quickly after Brandeis theory was revealed, significant and knowledgeable histologists evaluated the samples and concurred that it was, in fact, meat, and that those specific samples were likely from either a human baby or a horse– which has to do with as beneficial as Amazon Alexa stating, “Its either snowing or hot as the surface of the sun,” when you ask her what the weather condition is today. That does not genuinely narrow it down a whole fucking lot.
Do I need a coat or sun block?
Is it flesh from a goddamn horse or a human infant??

Pieces of red meat figuring out about 2 inches long by 2 inches broad fell from the clear sky over an area about 100 lawns. According to Mrs. Crouch the meat “fell like big snowflakes,” which lacks a doubt the most frightening psychological image Ive ever been burdened with. When questioned by reporters, both Mr. and Mrs. Crouch agreed that in their perspective this event, which was called the Kentucky Meat Shower, was a sign from God. What matters is that they voluntarily consumed the sky meat and deserve our regard.
Is it flesh from a human infant or a goddamn horse??

So, with the only contribution from science being the important discovery that yes, the sky meat is meat, were simply turned over one theory. Yep, from 1876 until today, there is just one theory that everybody has really decided to opt for, which theory is vultures. Vultures, when they require to make a fast escape, have actually been known to projectile vomit up their last meal. This is to assist lighten them in flight, and likewise to distract whatever is after them.
You can see where this is going.
The theory is that a great deal of vultures, which are ground scavengers by nature, gathered method the mess up in the sky for some factor, and after that all tossed up together, and this has never ever occurred prior to or given that. This was a one-time mass vulture-sky-puke event. Like Halleys Comet. Thats what everybodys hanging their hat on.
Look, I comprehend the requirement to shut the door on this and chalk it up to something, anything, in the hopes that we can all put the Kentucky Meat Shower to bed, but we all understand that this is bullshit. And we may never discover the fact about why parts of red meat rained down on Kentucky that day, but a minimum of this is something you and I are both now cursed to have swimming around in our brains completely.

At 11 AM on March 3rd, 1876, it was a clear day in Rankin, Kentucky.
Folks all over Bath County were getting dressed into 7 various layers of clothing and talking about how the telephone is the work of the devil or whatever else people did at that time, and Mrs. Crouch was making soap outside her home. Her soap crafting was suddenly interrupted, nevertheless, when portions of meat began to sprinkle out of the sky.
Yeah, you check out that. Portions of meat fell out of the fucking sky.
Pieces of red meat identifying about 2 inches long by 2 inches broad fell from the clear sky over a place about 100 lawns. According to Mrs. Crouch the meat “fell like huge snowflakes,” which does not have a doubt the most scary mental image Ive ever been strained with. When questioned by press reporters, both Mr. and Mrs. Crouch concurred that in their perspective this event, which was called the Kentucky Meat Shower, was an indicator from God. Specific beliefs and faith aside, I have a hard time visualizing what that message from God would signify. Like that day he simply got exhausted and went, “Here, have some meat rain, figure this one out you morons.” I do not comprehend.
What I do understand is that “the Kentucky Meat Shower” looks like the title of a Rob Zombie film besides its even in some way more horrifying since it really happened, and that I lose out on 30 minutes earlier when I didnt comprehend it existed.

So, with the only contribution from science being the critical discovery important yes, the sky meat is meat, were just entrusted one delegated.