January 17, 2021

Do Not Cook a Steak in Your Toaster, FFS

Anyone who has actually ever prepared a steak, particularly one as fatty as the one Juilette is preparing, understands that this is a bad concept, and anybody who takes even 2 seconds to look at the rest of Juliettes profile can see that this is absurdist efficiency art. Even without looking at the rest of Juliettes TikTok videos, its pretty apparent she does not cook the “steak for her boyfriend” totally in the toaster. There is absolutely nothing incorrect with using infrared radiation to prepare a piece of meat, the main issue with cooking a steak in a slotted toaster is that the grease has nowhere to go other than down into the toaster, which would unquestionably start a fire, or at least smoke like the devil himself. If you are someone who saw the “article” from The Sun, or enjoyed Juliettes video devoid of context, and are considering sliding a couple of cuts of marbled beef into the slots of your toaster: Dont.

What do we gain from all this? Well, I found out that some kids are pretty funny (though I have no idea how old Juliette is, she looks rather young), which British Tabloids are among the most evil and irresponsible forces in food journalism today. (First with that sandwich “hack,” now this!).

Attempt as I might, I can not get into Food TikTok. It is a lawless place where flukes exist as the norm and cam tricks run widespread, plus there are numerous kids, and I do not take pleasure in watching kids be performative unless they relate to me. (The only TikTok-er I check in on with any regularity is this 40-something-year-old guy who does fascinating and very distinct vehicle adjustments.).

Picture: Davidchuk Alexey (Shutterstock).

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Perhaps I need to give Food TikTok– and the kids who drive it– another chance. Not because their dishes are great, however since they are Dadaist masters. Take this video from TikTok user Juliette (@itmeju1iette), for example:.

Anyone who has ever cooked a steak, specifically one as fatty as the one Juilette is preparing, knows that this is a bad idea, and anyone who takes even 2 seconds to take a look at the rest of Juliettes profile can see that this is absurdist performance art. Her bio checks out “masterchef champ” and two of her other food videos feature meatballs and spaghetti prepared in a coffee machine, and bacon and eggs cooked with a hair straightener. It is shit publishing at its finest, but some individualss minds are too literal for Juliettes art, which is why The Sun “reported” on this “cooking method” as if it were an earnest cooking tip.
Even without looking at the rest of Juliettes TikTok videos, its pretty obvious she does not prepare the “steak for her partner” completely in the toaster. We never ever see her take the completed steak out of the toaster, but the most significant idea is the absence of grease fire. Though there is nothing incorrect with using infrared radiation to prepare a piece of meat, the main issue with cooking a steak in a slotted toaster is that the grease has nowhere to go except down into the toaster, which would undoubtedly start a fire, or at least smoke like the devil himself. (Judging by the amount of browning on the steak, a reasonable quantity of the grease has actually rendered out.).

If Lydia Hawkin of The Sun had even glanced at the rest of Juliettes profile, or had a 30-second conversation with Gordon Ramsey (its a little Island; Im sure she could discover him in like, two hours), she would have determined that this little video is a joke, suggested to be made fun of, not provided as something that somebody really did, which could motivate copycats.
And thats truly why Im composing about this video. If you are somebody who saw the “article” from The Sun, or watched Juliettes video without context, and are considering sliding a few cuts of marbled beef into the slots of your toaster: Dont. You will probably start a grease fire, which will ruin your toaster, your steak, and possibly your home.

If you were drawn to the toaster method since it appeared easy and uncomplicated, dont fret, preparing one in a pan is not that hard. Start here if youre intimidated, and grab Denver steaks if you can find them. Theyre my preferred cheap cut, and come out delicious without excessive inconvenience, no TikTok hack needed.