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Orcas Are Here To Kick Ass And Chew Gum, And They’re All Out Of Gum

The evidence suggests the orcas are deliberately and systematically beating the hell out of boats, according to The Guardian, researchers and researchers say its too early to understand whats going on with this “concerning” habits. People have not even been around that long but weve been gross pretty much ideal out of the gate (Europeans used to literally toss their poop out their windows into the streets. And, on a more personal note for the whales, come on– weve all seen The Cove and Blackfish.
Name one excellent thing weve done for whales lately. No, I do not need to wait for researchers to examine the recent habits of orcas, its quite clear.

kpa/United Archives through Getty Im Everybody had to have seen this coming however, come on men
Nature has been snapping in a big way for all of 2020 and its not slowing down anytime soon. The global pandemic, then we got struck with a string of insane weather phenomena, like wildfires raving in California after actually 12,000 lightning strikes and multiple hurricanes on the east coast that were a hair away from combining into one giant cyclone, and now, obviously, even the animals want to beef.
Over the last couple months, sailors along the coasts of Spain and Portugal have actually reported a pod (or pods) of whale ramming their boats, in many cases to the point of actually breaking off rudders and triggering injury to individuals on board– and a team member among these vessels said the “attacks” felt completely orca-strated. *.
* This is absolutely my joke and not what someone else developed on Twitter.
Although the evidence suggests the orcas are intentionally and systematically beating the hell out of boats, according to The Guardian, scientists and scientists say its prematurely to comprehend whats going on with this “worrying” habits. Which is, obviously, a crock of shit. I understand precisely whats going on and Ill inform you free of charge right now.
We fucking suck. We have actually sucked so much for so long, and the whales have actually had enough.
Weve been damaging the oceans and dumping our shit all over the planet like an 8-year-old with no good manners throwing ketchup around a Waffle House, and weve been doing this for, like, a while. Humans havent even been around that long however weve been gross quite much ideal out of the gate (Europeans utilized to literally throw their poop out their windows into the streets. And, on a more personal note for the whales, come on– weve all seen The Cove and Blackfish.
Call one excellent thing weve provided for whales lately. Try it. You cant.
No, I do not need to wait for scientists to analyze the recent behavior of whales, its quite clear. The whales are here to beat the shit out of us. This is an ideal example of what we have called “self care”, and I, for one, congratulate and welcome our new whale overlords.