A health center administrator drives by your home and tosses a brick with a medical expense twisted around it through your window. Return the brick, otherwise youll get a new bill on a brick for the brick you didnt return.
Thats since its really a work birthday party for somebody in the outpatient-billing department– the real surprise is that you were invited simply so they might offer you a huge expense for deciding to be anesthetized for an operation. You are welcome to stay for the party and have cake or ice cream, however not both.
The Bill at the End of a CVS Receipt.
Wherein you find out that you were given the E.R. by E.M.T.s who used 8 different ambulances en route to the health center, and you are being charged for each one. If this hasnt occurred to you, no factor to eliminate the costs– all the proper parties have been informed to make it take place in the near future.
When you next get surgical treatment on your head (most likely due to the fact that a brick with a hospital expense twisted around it fractured your skull), youll have an electrical node inserted into a particular part of your brain that, when stimulated remotely, will produce the idea “I owe twenty-three thousand dollars for out-of-network laboratory tests.”.
Rapidly Aging-Man Bill.
Throughout your day, you will keep running into the same man, only he will look older and older each time you cross paths, till finally he is an old man who grabs you by the collar, hands you a medical facility expense, and passes away in your arms. (Luckily, we have much of these sort of guys, so its not just, like, one man and its over.).
Photo from Getty
Are you tired of medical companies sending surprise costs in the mail for services you didnt understand werent covered by your insurance? Thats why, in addition to defeating a ban on surprise bills, weve pressured Congress to enable these new methods of surprise billing.
Are you tired of medical providers sending out surprise costs in the mail for services you didnt know werent covered by your insurance coverage? Thats why, in addition to defeating a ban on surprise costs, weve pressured Congress to allow these brand-new techniques of surprise billing.
Thats since its in fact a work birthday party for someone in the outpatient-billing department– the real surprise is that you were welcomed just so they might offer you an enormous bill for deciding to be anesthetized for an operation. (The kind of threat that might result in one of these sorts of surprise health center expenses!).
Until self-surprise can become routine human habits, well simply utilize this as an opportunity to charge you a two-thousand-dollar surprise fee for being the recipient of a surprise bill.
Expense in the Hand Coming Out of the Dashboard of Your Car
Someone from your insurance provider will hide in a compartment that they burrowed in the dash of your vehicle and completely frighten you when they pass you a bill while youre driving. Keep in mind: if the hand does not hold a costs, that person does not operate in health care, and your life is most likely in threat. (The type of risk that might lead to one of these sorts of surprise healthcare facility costs!).
This Next Paragraph Is a Bill.
You owe eleven thousand five hundred dollars for an MRI! We just could not assist springing a costs on you while you were reading this. And, if you didnt have an MRI, try contacting many medical facility billing departments around the nation until you discover the one thats billing you, and try to get it corrected.
Creepy Wage Garnishment.
Out of nowhere, money is inexplicably taken out of your paycheck. It certainly seems like it, because for all of October (thats the Halloween month), big portions of your earnings will be supernaturally kept from you.
Expense in Invisible Ink.
Pretty basic invisible-ink gag, but also a strong way of slipping an expense to somebody, so itll probably just be our fallback choice. To be additional shitty about it, well likewise lobby Congress to make unnoticeable ink unlawful except for health-care billing purposes.
Can a person surprise himself? Luckily, in lieu of searching for a treatment for cancer or heart disease, members of the medical facility have been working hard to discover that out. Most recently, theyve created a sort of spring-loaded lunch pail that only works half the time– so theyre getting close. Till self-surprise can become routine human habits, well simply utilize this as a chance to charge you a two-thousand-dollar surprise charge for being the recipient of a surprise bill.